So, I’m sitting out on my balcony enjoying the gentle soft sounds of an electric guitar in ambient worship music. Just thinking about the goodness of the Lord. I know that sounds cliche, but I’m so serious. It’s so easy to get caught up in our busy schedules, ripping and running left and right BUT when you take a moment to just sit still and reflect on all that God has done in your life, it really puts you in a place of awe. Sometimes it all seems like a dream. Like…is this real?? I don’t even feel like I deserve this! I haven’t even been all that faithful (I’m not too Holy to admit it), but He still keeps blessing me. Who wouldn’t want to serve a God who’s so kind?
So just a little backstory real quick: I started this blog last summer out of deep frustration. Those of you who are personally close to me know that these past two years (since I’ve been in graduate school) have been challenging- especially financially. For the past couple of years I have been unemployed. During that time it seemed like I couldn’t find a job for NOTHING- and I had a degree! I tried it all- job fair, cold calling, letters, online….but all I got was rejection. Thankfully, my wonderful family has always been able to help me during tough times, but I grew to a point where I was just desperate to MOVE FORWARD and PROSPER and it just wasn’t happening….in my time. So impatient. Such little faith. It seemed like everyone around me was blossoming and growing. It seemed like opportunities were flowing to everyone but me. I just couldn’t move forward and I couldn’t understand why. I began to feel like I was being punished by God. It really began to eat at my emotions and I found myself very angry and frustrated. My thoughts began to lean toward the negative side. I began to feel like perhaps there was just nothing out there for me. I had dreams. I wanted things. I wanted a fulfilling career. I wanted my own place. I wanted to travel. I wanted to complete some project I had in mind. But guess what. Those things cost money and I didn’t have it. So most of my time was spent sitting around the house reflecting on how messed up things seemed…until I decided to stop TRIPPIN’ and start TRUSTIN’. Once I made that decision, things really began to improve…slowly…but SURELY. I just hear the Lord saying, “See, told you I gotchu’ girl.” I smile just thinking about how true and great He is.
So, now you got the backstory. Let’s bring it up to date 🙂 Well, let’s just say God definitely did not lie 🙂 The day before my birthday last summer, I was at a quiet beach worshipping (something about worshipping near the water totally WRECKS ME). When I got ready to leave, I felt led to check my bank account balance on my phone app and BOOM. Some money I was waiting for had hit my account (I WAS BROKE AS EVER AT THE TIME). MAN I was so happy. Happy early birthday to me! THEN…THAT SAME DAY….the Lord turned around and blessed me with a paying Fellowship I never even applied for LOL Oh how He loves me 🙂 Fast forwarding to spring (of this year): Through a connection, I landed a job with a production company in DC that created and hosts a major film/media festival every year (I’m working on my MFA in Film & Electronic Media for those of you who didn’t know). I met all kinds of renowned Writers, Directors, and Producers from all around the world. I even pitched my thesis idea to one of the Producers and he loved it! I love my job- the best I’ve ever had. I fight traffic for about 3 hours a day to get to work, but guess what- It’s so worth it. And I didn’t even apply for this job. I was just contacted and asked if I wanted to jump on board. I was like, “uuuh…YEAH!” BUT WAIT! That’s not all. I’ve also made a pretty good amount of money from Photography, which is pretty surprising because I never intended to. It was just a hobby, for fun. But The Lord just sent folks to me who wanted to pay me to take their photos. Of course I wouldn’t turn that down 🙂 OH AND ONE MORE THING! I wrote a paper for one of my courses last semester and decided to submit it for the annual conference of a professional organization that studies, showcases, and promotes various forms of digital/written work for the sake of industry advancement. I figured I had nothing to lose. They were either going to accept it or not. I honestly wasn’t expecting the paper to get accepted because the organization receives so many submissions. LOL. Well, God proved me wrong- yet again 🙂 What’s new? I received a lovely email one morning a few weeks after I submitted congratulating me on the acceptance of my paper! What does this mean? Glad you asked! I get to fly out to Los Angeles to present the paper at the conference- and not just that- but I’m not paying a cent for registration, transportation, or lodging because I was awarded a Fellowship that covers the costs! 🙂 CRAZY right? I’ll be out there for almost a week. For a Maryland kid who hasn’t had the opportunity to travel much, this is just mind blowing. Never been west coast before. And to know that my work is worthy of that type of recognition- God it just AMAZING.
So what is the main point? TRUST HIM. He has MAJOR plans for His children. If you’re like me, you don’t like what doesn’t make sense. THE STRUGGLE. But you HAVE TO come out of your carnal mind and walk by faith. All of the previous doors that God closed in my face served a major purpose. Had I gotten what I thought I wanted back then, I wouldn’t have the awesome job I have now. I wouldn’t be flying out to LA to present at a professional conference. I wouldn’t be graduating with my Master’s degree in December. In all honesty, I probably wouldn’t even be happy. The closed doors worked for my GOOD. When you’re going through the test, it really sucks. It just does. This time last year, I didn’t think things would EVER get better. But when I made up my mind to rest and trust God, He showed His faithfullness, as He’s always done. He showed me that all I have to do is TRUST, because His plans are so much greater than what I can imagine. And it only gets better from here.
Ok. I’m tired of typing. And I’m sure you’re tired of reading LOL so…..goodnight. Hope you’re encouraged. Keep hope always 🙂