It’s July 2016 and this officially marks my first ever blog entry. Why?!?!?! The Million Dollar Question.
As I sit out on the balcony of my grandmother’s condominium, I reflect on my current dilemma. 28-years- old and currently unemployed with bills but ZERO income and ZERO job offers or any other money making opportunities. I have faced more rejection in the workplace than in any other area of my life. I am just about half-way through my Master’s degree program at American University with a GPA well over 3.0. I graduated from undergrad as the class representative and commencement speaker. I have several years of secretarial experience. I also had a very brief stint as a Realtor, successfully closing two transactions. All of this and I have not been able to land ANY TYPE of job in over a year and a half. Not one single offer, just a series of useless interviews and consistent rejection. Even Target turned me down (I just had to laugh that one off)! I just don’t get it. It makes no sense. It’s baffling. Most of all- it’s FRUSTRATING.
The main questions I have for God begin with WHY? Why did I struggle and work hard through so many years just to end up in a place of ultimate disappointment and frustration. Now, it’s already tough enough that I haven’t been able to land anything, but even worse I’m CONSTANTLY watching folks all around me land awesome opportunities and move ahead in life. Now hear me! I am no hater AT ALL. I am always joyful to see others moving ahead but I can’t help but wonder why the awesome opportunities always seem to go to everyone else but me. Especially to the folks who aren’t even trying to follow God and live right, not saying they don’t deserve to prosper. But here is my absolute BIGGEST why- why in the world have I been tithing FAR ABOVE my 10%; why in the world am I sacrificing so hard, trying to be obedient, killing this vile flesh DAILY, TRYING to live Holy (I may fail but God knows I am trying); why in the world am I praying, asking , speaking, and believing for what I want; why in the world am I doing all of these things just to consistently have doors slammed shut in my face as if I don’t deserve better????? There are folks out here who don’t even acknowledge God’s existence and they prosper while I’m living by faith and struggling from year to year.
WHY? The major three letter question that most of us ask God from time to time. My WHY may be different from your WHY. We’re all currently facing some type of hardship in our lives, in one way or another. Though we wonder and ask why, the exact answer remains a mystery. That’s where faith kicks in, that’s where we tug on scriptures. It’s easy to grow bitter and want to give up, trust me, I know from experience as I struggle DAILY to keep my head up through disappointments and press FORWARD. Romans 8:28 clearly tells us that everything works out for the good of those who love the Lord, even though we may not see it at the moment. That’s why it’s important to make a firm decision to trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5). Also, we must believe what Jeremiah 29:11 states- God has plans to prosper us and not harm us. He’s eager to give us hope and an awesome future. Doubt will indeed come, the devil is busy. But we have to remain steadfast, consistent in prayer, and doers of His word.
I know that I am not alone in my struggle. If you’re experiencing any type of hardship in your life, this blog is for you. If you constantly wonder and ask WHY things are the way they are in your life, this blog is for you. If you wrestle with doubt and struggle with faith, this blog is for you. I’m sharing my personal journey through my hardship as a witness that God is faithful and will lead me from the valley to the mountaintop.